Each of us wants to be happy and this can result in a large number of concrete goals or dreams: professional, family or social success, or the acquisition of a red Porsche!
But if you dig a little bit deeper, it becomes clear that basically everyone wants to love before but above all to be loved and feel that his or her existence (or non-existence) makes a difference.
Some think that happiness is not for them actually being happy is often a state of mind as memory which can be cultivated and developed, and everyone has a chance!
Do not expect your happiness to come from others, it is first in us.
We are our first friend as we can be our first enemy.
Let us beware of the people with “devouring energy” that can sometimes surround us, are those for example who regularly unload their problems and negative thoughts about ourselves and leave relieved as our morale is down to 0, or yet they are the ones who spend their time blaming us under the guise of trying to help, there are many other cases.
Life is too short to let it be poisoned by these negative vibes: choose to listen to these people if you want, but do not suffer!
Do not expect either to get happiness advice from others: their goals, their motivations, their resources are personal and are not necessarily suited to our personality and our situation. Remember that no one can live the life of someone in his place, and it is valid in both directions (adviser and the advised).
Avoiding the company of negative people is useful, but we must also identify the negative feelings that we can possibly interfere and thwart our desire to know happiness. I mentioned some memory: feelings of guilt, inferiority, resentment or anger (the list can be long)
We must also admit that we can not change some things in life (unemployment, illness, bereavement) but by cons we can change the way we look on them.
Also have in mind the fact that our thoughts are not reality, but they often create it: for example, thinking that we’ll miss something has the effect of making us tense and we actually may come to miss it, hence reducing our confidence. This is why many of the methods recommended for developing the attitude of happiness recommend having positive thoughts as a start.
Usually three-quarters of our thoughts are rooted in the past, a quarter for dreams of the future and thoughts on the present are virtually nonexistent. This is often why we miss small simple pleasures that the methods recommended to taste.
It is true that it is positive thinking to live the present and seconds if you want to think about the past, then it should be for profit and not have regrets because part of what we are can not be changed.
And we must not forget that we develop our capacity for happiness if we learn to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, but just simply accept that the past can not be changed and deciding to go ahead.
We can look to our past to measure progress and be happy that we often forget when we have reached a goal.
And of course, all the gurus will tell you, that true joy is in the development of the ability to focus on the things that are meaningful rather than material goods.
While waiting to discover and study the techniques developed to nourish our capacity for happiness, and we simply can now choose to laugh or smile, for example every day or every night to review the happy moments we have lived instead of rehashing all our troubles.
This is already a good starting point.